lily_everhart: (Default)
[personal profile] lily_everhart
This is a rare personal post that is going to remain public because I just realized that I just friended a bunch of people and now I'm going to be disappearing for four days. I'm going on a mini vacation to San Diego which I'm excited about because 1) warm weather, 2) I get to see some family I haven't seen in about six years and 3) I've never been to San Diego.

This past couple weeks have been tough. My Grandma passed away December 29 and her funeral was this Tuesday. It happened very fast. The Tuesday before she died the doctors said she would be going home that Friday. Wednesday afternoon she suddenly took a turn for the worst. We were driving home from visiting my in-laws and were six hours away when we got a call saying to hurry home that it looked bad. By the time we got there they had induced sleep to perform a CT scan. That night she progressed worse and my Dad and his siblings had to make the choice to pull the plug on her life support or not. We ended up choosing to pull the plug because everything in her body was shutting down.

So I didn't get to see her awake but I did speak with her on Tuesday. I think maybe I should have known it was worse than I thought it was because for the first time she admitted to me that she was in pain. We only spoke for a few minutes and it was a terse conversation but she was in a lot of pain.

A lot of things in my life are going to change. I did a lot of things with her. We went to the theater, to concerts, out to eat, shopping, and all sorts of things. I visited her often, although not as often as I would like. It's a weird feeling because I know we did a lot together and yet I still think I could have done more with her. I don't really feel guilty so much as just sad we didn't get to spend as much time as we usually do together. She was fun to talk to. I'll miss her greatly. I'm at a much better place these last couple of days since the funeral.

It didn't help that during the funeral I was sick and have only now just recovered from the cold I had. I'm kind of ready for this trip to San Diego but there is also a part of me that just wants to stay home. I have school in two weeks and I feel so unrested for it.
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